First Principles of Service

1. Seek to understand.

Let me discover their needs and challenges. I want to learn the things that are truly important to them, and find ways that I can lift their burdens, add value, and enrich their lives.

I will try to put myself in their shoes. I understand that I may not get it right; it is possible that they will want or need something different from what I propose to do. However, my intent to understand and do what they want—rather than telling them what I want to do—sets the stage for them to communicate their true needs.

2. Be honest.

Honesty is so hard to find, yet how can I feel secure if honesty is not present? Honesty sometimes hurts. Sometimes it is difficult to say and even harder to hear. Honesty can have significant ramifications. Yet, honesty is the foundation upon which lasting relationships must be built. It is better that I find one person with whom I can be fully honest than 1,000 people with whom I must deny Truth in order to “succeed”.

3. Act with Integrity.

Let my behavior be guided by a strict ethical code. When my life is lived with integrity, when my relationships are built upon high ethical standards, I become More.

4. Deliver.

I will do my human best to deliver on the commitments and promises I make. Where I fall short, I will honestly communicate this to those affected, apologize, and seek to make amends where it is possible to do so.

5. Speak Up!

“Ask and Ye Shall Receive.” If I am having a problem, need help, information, or guidance, have a conflict that needs to be resolved, or just need support in my efforts to serve, I must ASK. Silence is deadly. I must speak up promptly, with courage.

I communicate not just to ask but also to tell. I must let them know what I do for them. This gives them a chance to appreciate my contribution as well as redirect my priorities and let me understand how my service to them can be improved. Anonymous service has a place, but not in professional or family relationships.

6. Care.

When I create empathetic relationships, I will feel the pain others experience. While I cannot sacrifice my honesty or integrity to protect another person’s ego, I can care for them and feel pain with them, and apologize when I do something inappropriate.

7. Form interdependent relationships.

If I am dependent, I will live in fear of those I serve and the power I give them over my life.

If I am too independent, I may forget that we are in this together; I may forget to incorporate their priorities into my own. I will “go it alone” and end up alone.

Interdependence means a recognition that we come together to create a synergistic, integrated relationship where the needs of all parties are met. We recognize that we are not dependent on each other; each of us can be ‘replaced’ or leave to pursue other callings. Yet, we come together as free people of choice to create and share something worthwhile.

8. Live with an Attitude of Gratitude.

Appreciate those I serve and those that serve me—silently, in discussions with others, and in person.

9. Take responsibility.

Know that I have response-ability for how I feel and how I act in all situations. Knowing that I have the choice means that blame has no place in any relationship. There is always some way I can respond to take the relationship to a higher level.

10. Build competence.

Learn how to do new things, and to do all things with greater skill and effectiveness.

11. Demonstrate respect.

Only a deep, underlying respect makes true service to another human being possible. Respect comes not from judgement of behavior. It comes from sensing the goodness that is within every individual.

12. Be supportive.

Give of my energy, my vitality, my joy, and my love with the intent of supporting those I serve. Support them in healthy, holistic ways.

13. Forgive early, forgive often.

All relationships are going to have conflicts of rules, values, and expectations. That goes especially for my relationship with myself. Forgiveness allows me to go forward. It is through forgiveness that I let go of the burdens that sap my strength. A forgiving heart is courageous and strong. Only a forgiving spirit can truly be of service in a world filled with so much suffering.